We ask you to suspend absences when separation anxiety training, so why do you have to do that?
If you want to help your dog overcome a phobia or fear, then the first and most important thing to do is to avoid that fear. When my clients want to work with me for their dog’s separation anxiety, I insist they suspend absences. I’m asking them to never leave their dog home alone, and it’s a big ask. Many are shocked and feel that this is impossible, does this mean they can’t ever go out again without the dog? Well, to begin with, yes it does. But hear me out, or read to the end…
Why is this so important?
If you have a fear, then every time you encounter the cause of it, your body chemistry goes mad. You are flooded with stress hormones and you are ready to fight or flight. You want to escape, run away and never come back. You are in a heightened state of alert, as this horrible thing can be just around the corner, and worse if the person you are relying on keeps dragging you to this nasty trigger.
Surely they can just ‘get over it’?
The old science (and sadly still encouraged) piece of advice is to make the scared person or dog be surrounded by their nemesis, and eventually they will ‘get over it’. This is a method called flooding, and it does nothing to change the emotions of your dog. Often they are trapped by a lead, cannot move away, or worse still get a lead jerk/electric shock each time they try and communicate. They give up trying to escape so appear calmer, but in fact they are shut down in what is known as learned helplessness. They just can’t escape but they are still scared. Imagine being locked in a small room of those horrible critters and all the banging on the door doesn’t open it. You are still petrified but you stop banging the door as it is a waste of time trying, no one is coming to help you.
Why stopping them being home alone is key…
Avoiding the fearful thing to begin with allows your hormones to reset, your brain chemistry to stabilise, and you start to feel more relaxed. Phew, that feels better.
However, this is not the answer by itself. You may feel initial relief, but it has been shown that after not seeing the trigger for some time, the anticipation of coming across it again is even greater, the fear grows. Now, the thought of having that critter in your bathtub makes it a monster, an insurmountable obstacle.
Image a dog reactive dog now being walked at 4am when there are hardly any dogs on the streets or in the park. It may be freedom for them, but not only is this impractical for the family to do this every day, but now the fear of seeing a dog is even worse for your dog. They are more spooked about what could be around the corner, but then if you never walk them and just play indoors all the time instead, the world closes in on them, the fear grows of actually going out. You can get an agoraphobic dog.
The same applies to separation anxiety. Your dog will initially love having you close all day and they will feel safer, but they will become more hyper alert as they have even less clue when you may or may not leave them. The routine is different even if the last routine, which included exposing them to their fear of being alone, was distressing for them.
Before I sign up a client, I ask them to have everything ready which may be to book daycare, schedule in helpers and sitters, and be prepared to never let their dog be alone. Even if your dog is super attached to you, being with others is less worse than being alone so you need to plan to have someone at your home whilst you go to the shops or the school run. It takes a village and a lot of planning. The rest of the time, they are with you wherever you go.
Initial avoidance and suspending absences the full answer, and it doesn’t work by itself. You need to also teach your dog a new safe feeling by a careful plan slowly introducing the scary thing, just like we address phobia training in humans.
If your dog has been distressed, we ask that you suspend absences for a week before starting the training. This gives the dog the chance to expel all the stress hormones circulating in their body, and allow clients a chance to set up the indoor cameras, test angles of view, practice recording on them and set the environment up so that it is comfortable for the dog.
In order to actually change how your dog feels, you then need to work on a gradual exposure plan. No amount of avoidance will help without also working on changing their emotions and helping the hormones stay stable. This process of desensitisation needs to be done carefully, controlled and always at your dog’s pace, and this applies to not only home alone training but other fears and phobias such as reactivity.
In order to create a new positive association and therefore overcome the fear, then the process needs to be slow and considerate to allow the ingrained feelings to change.
The psychology of fear is complex but this gives a practical guide to how you can make it work and help your dog in an ethical but more importantly, an effective way for long term results that truly helps your dog and improves their physical and mental wellbeing.
Now I have to be honest, we all have phobias and I am no different. I do my best to avoid my worst one (well, 2) so yes, suspending exposure ensures I am calm and happy, but the thought of coming across them freaks me out even more, I am more scared than before, and sadly not all these can be controlled so I do encounter them occasionally. And no, I have not done any therapy which is why I’ve had the same fear for over 50 years (yes, I’m that old!). Avoidance has certainly NOT been the answer! Had I had therapy, maybe I will be a lot better, but I prefer to spend my money on my dog!
Jo, Pippin Pets, Feb 2024