Many dog guardians know that dogs with separation anxiety make a lot of noise. They bark, howl or cry, and can be a noise nuisance to neighbours. So when they try some desensitisation training themselves, often they will just wait until they hear barking before they come back in.
But the training does not go well, the dog struggles, and still cannot be left home alone.
Owners can also get distressed and confused, as there is a lot of (mis) information that if you return to a barking or crying dog, then you are only going to make them bark more for you i.e. reinforce the barking. So they also wait until the dog stops before they return – another common myth.
Let’s go through why waiting for the barking, or the barking to stop, just doesn’t cut it when it comes to separation anxiety training.
First, we need to understand that it is not a training issue. The barking and howling is a symptom of the fear, and it’s the fear feeling that needs to be addressed. Once you work to alleviate the fear, the barking will significantly reduce or stop completely.
When the dog is barking from fear, then they are screaming for help. They are often in a blind panic, and nothing will help until the fear goes away – that is you returning to them. They are in a state of distress and you coming home and reassuring them is going to make them feel better. You are not teaching them to bark to get you to return, you are changing their emotions. Dog’s don’t do things out of spite, they don’t think that way so get that out of your mind.
If you let your dog cry it out and wait for them to stop, or pause long enough for you to get to them, they are flooded with stress hormones. Their brains are affected by this altered stressful brain chemistry, and this is not healthy. Even more so if they are in any developmental stage such as puppies or adolescents.
All they learn is that they are super scared, distressed, no idea how to cope, and you ignore them. Not great if you are trying to strengthen the bond and relationship with them. They cannot trust you.
So if your dog is barking at home when you leave them, how can you do the separation anxiety training?
One of my deal breakers when working with clients is that they must get a camera on their dog. They can use a laptop and zoom themselves, or buy a camera that feeds onto their mobile. But whatever way they set it up, they must always be watching a live feed on their phones during training. If their dog moves around, then they need several cameras. There are some cheap but very good ones on the market and therefore finance should not be a barrier.
Then I teach dog body language. Dogs are always communicating with us, and we need to really learn what they are saying. Waiting for the bark is too late, they are in a panic, but what you may miss if you are just hovering outside the door listening, is all the other signs that your dog is starting to feel uncomfortable, and then not cope.
Each time you step out of the door, you are watching for the smallest changes in body language, the little signs that your dog exhibits. Not all dogs do all the signs, and some dogs do them when not stressed but you are learning about increases of these, or new occurrences of these subtle signs.
And you always come in before there is any noise. We want your dog to feel safe, to cope, so you get in before they start whimpering, squeaking or whining which can be seconds or minutes before the bark or howl.
Working 1-2-1 with me, you get your recorded sessions reviewed so I can also point out the little changes and you then learn when you can stay out during the training plan, or if you need to abort and get indoors quickly.
Just waiting for your dog to bark is not going to work, you are just confirming to them that your absence is scary, and your goal to be out whilst your dog is home alone happy is not going to happen.
Don’t wait for the bark!