No! No! No!
How often do you say no to your dog – and what does it really meant to them?
This innocuous 2 letter word that is most ‘recommended’ by other owners in social media groups, old style dog trainers and honestly the most natural thing for us to say in a panic. I see so often ‘just tell them no’ – as if our dogs are expected to understand every nuance and variation of the situation and be able to pick out the one thing that you actually mean, and decipher what they should be doing instead. Complicated – heh?
But what do we actually mean?
Right and wrong is a human concept, we have laws, and guilt feelings. Dogs just do what works for them, or what makes them feel good – or learn to avoid as it appears scary to them – survival instinct.
It frustrates the h**l out of me when I see owners just saying ‘no’ constantly.
Watch this clip here (opens in different browser) of a tiktok reel (shared to fb) and have the volume on.
Can you even count the number of times she says ‘no’?
I can’t 🤣🤣🤣!!
When we say no, what do we actually mean? For example, your child is reaching out to a pan on the hob – you say ‘No!’. Is that stop moving your arm, stop touching, stop moving towards it, stop breathing? What are we actually wanting to stop? Is ‘no’ even meaning to stop something? Next example. Then they grab hold of a glass. You say ‘no!’ = but what?? No to holding it? No to letting go, no to looking at you, no to standing? What?????
You can see how this is really confusing. What we really should say is 1) don’t get any closer to the hob, stop moving your arm to it, turn around and walk away from it; or 2) keep really still, keep your hands tight on the glass until I also get hold of it and can take it off you so it doesn’t drop, and don’t ever walk over to that cupboard, open it, reach into it and grab glasses again on your own.
When we are just shouting no to our dogs, they have NO idea what we actually want them to do! We are at best a scary distraction, a nagging tirade of volume and noise, and totally unhelpful to them.
I know dogs are clever, but not that clever when it comes to our verbal language. I have also just been typing ‘no’ as the 2 letter word but there are other spellings of the same sound with even more meanings.
So how can we help our dogs?
Stop saying ‘no’ and teach them an actual action and label that – ie, HOLD – for keeping something in there mouths, DROP – for spitting something out of their mouths, HERE – to move towards us…. see the pattern.
You need to teach them what to do, not just nag pointless sounds to them!
Do I say no? In one situation. If I’m not vigilant enough to do a LEAVE (ignore it cue) when there is fox poo smells, and my girl starts rolling, then there is no point in much as she is in the ‘poo trance’ so I end up muttering a ‘nooooooo’ more to myself as I calculate if I have time to give her a full bath or just a temporary targeted soaking if my diary is full that day!
As soon as she stands up, that is when I will use the LEAVE cue and my recall HERE cue to get her away from going in for a double splattering!
Now I’ve said my piece, watch the clip, and can you now see why the ‘no’ is so ineffective, and what she could have been saying instead?
What cues would you have at the ready in place of ‘no’?
AND…. tell me how many times you say ‘no’ to your dog in a day! It’s probably more than you realise!
Your dog will love you, and bond with you better if you concentrate on what they should be doing instead, and offer guidance instead of confusion.
Want to read more = have a look at my blog about why our cues may no longer be heard…click here